MEN'S LIB.

"I held my breath and the door slowly began to open",he began,inspired.She did not seem to be impressed.Never mind.he would manage
something."And out of the door came a fabulous monster,the likes of which may never be seen on this earth again.It had three huge heads and five small
ones,fire in it's eyes,seven heads each with ten fingers and on each finger were six boils and from each boil grew another hideous one. "Five partridges in four pear trees?",interrupted his sarcastic and still unimpressed audience."Why don't you come right out and tell me the
truth?Where were you? What could he tell her?How can you explain away a whole hour of time you have 'misplaced' to any woman,particularly the one you happen to be
married to.It's situations like this that drive a man to deceit.But he hadn't lost hope-he'd try again."I was just driving around and the car ran into the pothole
(what are they doing with our taxes honmestly!)but it was actually a time warp and ......er.....well,maybe not."His imagination had run dry.He was suddenly
irritated.The obstinate woman was just being difficult."Listen,you obstinate woman",he yelled,"you're just being difficult(Ooopsss....fire alarm). His super-macho,indignant-man-of-the-family-how-dare-you-question-my-actions pose did lose some of it's ferasomeness,when it was followed
first by a petulant look and then by the grin that never failed to melt her.It did not fail this time either(Men are so blatantly good at emotionally blackmailing
women.......(sigh).She even suggested some excuses herself.How about,she offered,he really had been at the supermarket,but it was really a long line and
when he had come halfway,the checkout guy decided to stop for a snack.He pooh-poohed that ,though hurt,she protested,arguing she ought to know what
she herself would believe.He completely scorned this opinion.Had she,he inquired,ever tried lying to herself.Agreeing that she had not,she conceded defeat. It was 8:30 by then.A ll was centered around 9 and he thought it had been going fine,so far.in the good mood,he'd managed to bring about in
her,he was sure he would be able to handle everything.She had forgotten the lost hour and was perfectly agreeable to the suggestion that they go out for
dinner.Too perfectly agreeable.Why was she showing no more emotion than just plain agreement?Had he been wrong,when he thought he knew what she
thought?or was this the wrong day completely.Well,if it was,it was too late now. At the restaurant,her surprise at the reserved corner table was more unnerving still.But,then she really wanted an explanation.Why had he
reserved a table and then pretended to be so spontaneous when he asked her out?It was time for confessions. "I thought it was our anniversary",he said,taking the tiny gift-wrapped box from his pocket and placing it on the table in front of her."The time I
disappeared today ,I was busy choosing the gift.I know I have got the day wrong and I am sorry but I'll make it up to you on our real anniversary .We'll do
something really special then."In his monologue he forgot to notice the sheepish grin and the dropped jaw that accompanied his beloved lady's face.It was time
for a hell lot more confessions. "It is our anniversary today",he sighed."Well,why didn't you say so before?",she said."All day I thought I was the one who had messed up the
dates and made up that cock n bull story to get you to stay calm",said her very disgruntled spouse. "Actually I was the one who had forgotten",she admitted.There was a second of silence before he burst out laughing."I always thought that men
were supposed to forget",he said."Well,I guess you got the better of me this time",she mumbled through her laughter."Finally." She looked radiant and beautiful as the sun reflected off her brown eyes...just the way he wanted her to be....just the way she was when he had
first laid eyes on her 50 years ago.