SMITTEN BY A BEETLE IN RED

You make me want to blush like a little school girl. A school girl who is still eleven but thinks that she can take over the world and swim in all of the oceans if asked to.

Your smile especially heightens my pulse rate making me breathless. It is reminiscent of a country boys' smile, simple and sweet. The one that makes you want to slowly unfurl yourself from the shell you are hiding in, into the bright sun.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. -
Kahlil Gibran

There are times when it becomes hard not having you around. There are times when I want to feel your face, when I want to smell your hair and run my fingers down your palm. There are times when all I want to do is put my head on your chest, hold you tight and go to sleep.

There are times when I can't put my eyes on you. But I want to. I wait till my heart is trembling inside my hardened throat and each finger is stealing its beat in their sweaty tips. A day will come when I will force myself to stare long enough into them to trap their color in my mind and memorize its contours down to a perfect t.

My feelings can be equated to a roads steep dip or even a taboo piece of literature that is only spoken of in hushed tones. It has secret code words and signals and are felt at the highest level of adrenaline tucked under the fingernails, sprinkled in veins and is separated in the fingers.

Our meeting and the courting after, was like stepping foot into water. A giant pool of swampy green and glistening yellow. When my feet were first captured, it felt cool and weightless; slippery against my sunburned skin. I was hesitant to swim, but with each flinching nerve, I slipped in further. Learning to swim still has its challenges, but I've gotten along happily, with floating on the breezy surface; each ebbing wavelet pulling me along.

A tiny fish in an open tank, feeling out the depths.

I want to let your hands swallow mine. Let your fingers inspect each curve, embedded bone, filling in its fleshy expanse like a map, marking all the spots you've visited.

Your heart resembles, a newly undiscovered sun, smothering my shoulders to trail down and pick apart my fears. I'll submit to it every time my heart shivers inside its bloody walls.

On my hands are planted all the words I've left unsaid. I force myself to meet the day when I will push them in my eyes and let you move close enough to read them.