There is a time in our lives when both our self image and our self esteem are determined by other people. I remember when I was a kid my life was dominated by adults and kids older to me. I saw myself through the messages I received from them. Good messages meant good self image and bad messages obviously meant bad self image. The point is at such a tender age, I responded to those messages and formed a picture of myself and gradually developed feelings that were consistent with it. Naturally, I became what I was told about myself.
But, one of the most important things to understand about self-esteem is that as we get older we have to learn to think for ourselves. We need to realize that we have a choice about the way we are going to respond to the messages from other people. To make it simpler, no one can make you feel anything without your consent.
The point I want to stress more on is its what we believe about ourselves that counts. Who the hell cares what other people say about you. Don’t get me wrong here. I am not saying that other people aren’t important in regard to our feelings. True all of us need to be told from time to time that we are loved, appreciated and valued. Hey, we need our share of hugs too. It’s not only necessary, but fantastic, to be affirmed by other people whom you care about.
But, but, we can’t just sit there and wait for others to applaud us in order to feel good. We have to take things in our stride and do things that make us feel good about ourselves even without the praise. Then, when it does come, it reaffirms what we are already feeling. So there’s your Bonus point!
Other people can do a lot of stuff for us, intentionally or just made up to make us feel good. But, in the end what really matters is how we portray ourselves. The direct result is what we do and what we think.
So, your self esteem is the reputation you have with yourself!!